


The Grapevine

by sunandoceanblue



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Evil Space Boyfriends, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, PFFT, fight wars?, first order gossip grapevine, some minor phasma/tiny officer gf, what else is there to do in space?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 08:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunandoceanblue/pseuds/sunandoceanblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is caught with a mystery lover. It turns into an interesting game of ‘he said, she said’ and leaves everyone confused but happy for their nonplussed General. Well, everyone but Ren, of course, because even he doesn’t know the mystery lover is himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Grapevine

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this post](http://kevin-the-chicken.tumblr.com/post/139985096523/i-want-a-fic-where-somebody-walks-in-on-kylo)

It’s been a long and lonely morning.

Hux slept alone, oddly restless despite having access to all the blankets for once. The lack of body heat from his lover even infiltrated his dreams; filling his mind with visions of snowy blizzards he was unable to shield himself from. And here he thought he’d sleep like the dead without his unconventional bedmate clinging to him like a leech.

He wasn’t sure why Kylo didn’t visit. He knew the knight had been summoned for a private audience with the Supreme Leader and he hadn’t seen Kylo since. It wasn’t his business. And he had spent all the evening convincing himself he didn’t care (even if he sort of did).

Showering and dressing alone made him realise the ridiculous amount of time he wasted with Kylo in the morning. Kylo hid his clothes, his towels, his razors. Every time Hux dressed, the younger man would drag him back to bed. He’d crinkle Hux’s crisp uniform and destroy his combed hair. He’d beg for an early morning fuck, promising he won’t bother Hux for the rest of the day (but he will) and that he won’t leave any visible marks (but he will).

This morning, Hux got ready in less than half an hour.

Anyway, the morning was dreadfully tedious and Hux decides to have lunch in the ‘trooper mess hall just for something to do. Besides, they love it when he makes an appearance.

Hux walks to the lift, trying to maintain his posture even though he wants to drag his feet.

Once he’s one the floor dedicated only for the Stormtroopers, he makes his way to the hall, giving a polite wave to the ‘troopers who wave and salute at him.

“Hux.”

That voice. Hux doesn’t think he’s ever spun around so quickly.

Kylo is walking towards him, stripped of his armour and sporting a simple grey singlet and loose fitting pants, saber hooked to one of the belt loops. He’s barefooted, hair tied back.

Nobody would guess he was the same creature in the mask who terrorised the galaxy with his mysterious powers.

“Hello,” Hux murmurs, pocketing his datapad as Kylo closes in on him.

“I missed you last night,” Kylo murmurs, circling his arms under the greatcoat and around the General’s thin waist.

Hux exhales a quiet laugh, dragging his fingers through Kylo’s dark hair. It’s damp with sweat. “Yes, where were you?”

“Master wanted me to do some more endurance training.”

“What? All night?”

Kylo nods, resting his head on Hux’s shoulder, nuzzling under his jaw.

“My, you’re awfully cuddly,” Hux muses, sweeping the stands of hair from Kylo’s eyes. “Why can’t you be this nice all the time?”

“Because then you’d have nothing to be angry about.”

His weight is becoming hard to support and Hux suspects Kylo is very close to falling asleep on him. He shakes Kylo’s shoulder lightly.  “I have to get back to work, sweetheart,” he croons, overly sweet and patronising simply because Kylo looks too tired to be irritated by it.

“Are you working late?” Kylo asks, lips against the underside of Hux’s jaw.            

“I wasn’t planning on.” Hux curls his fingers around the younger man’s hips. “Why?”

“Good, good... come visit me tonight...”

Hux hums. “Do get some rest first. I don’t want you falling asleep on me.”

“Can I use your shower?”

“You’re going to anyway.”

Kylo smirks and presses his lips to Hux’s lazily. “And when I’m standing there alone, I’m going to imagine you’re there, taking me from behind.”

Hux snorts. “I hate shower sex. And you’re terrible at dirty talk.”

Kylo steals a few more kisses before Hux gives him a light shove. “Go be distracting someplace else,” Hux says.

“I’ll see you tonight, lover.”

Hux continues towards the mess hall while Kylo slinks away to shower.

Neither of them notices the two Stormtroopers who caught the whole thing.

*

 “You’re _sure_ he was with somebody?” Mitaka asks with a frown.

Both the Stormtroopers roll their eyes. “Yeah, we imagined General Hux being dry humped by some other guy,” one says sarcastically.

The Lieutenant’s frown deepens. “I don’t recall him ever mentioning having a partner...”

The second ‘trooper shrugs. “Why would he? He has an image to maintain.”

“Yeah, and that guy he was with was kinda...” the first one makes a face. “I don’t know, strange...”

*

“I should have known the General was into those strange sorts of men,” Mitaka droned, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

“You think he’s into voyeurism?”

Mitaka snorts. “Well, I mean, look at him; an uptight guy like that? Bound to have some fucked up kinks.”

His fellow junior officers murmur in agreement.

 “Well, I just think it’s nice,” a blonde officer says, a hand on her hip. “It’s nice he has someone to keep him company,” she says.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure this guy gives him all the company he needs.”

They chuckle like it’s the funniest thing they’ve head all day and, really, it is.

*

“I mean, everyone has seen the _hickeys_ ,” the officer lowers his voice to whisper that word. “Every week they’re in different spots.”

“And have you noticed the days he walks extra upright, like he’s trying not to hurt himself?”

“He’s definitely got someone in bed with him.”

“But _who?_ ”

*

“I heard it’s a Stormtrooper.”

“I guess he wants an up close and personal look at how well his program works.”

Captain Annix snickers at the joke.

*

“A ‘trooper?” Major Plumme asked incredulously. “You really think the General would fool around with one of his troopers?”

Annix rubs his chin. “Hm, I suppose you’re right. He won’t even take dates to any First Order galas. He’s so picky.”

“So what does this mystery lover look like?” The Major asks, desperate for any gossip she can get her hands on.

“Apparently he’s kinda gangly looking. Ya know, tall and skinny and a little weird.”

Plumme snorts. “Of course the General would be into that sort of stuff.”

“Who do you think tops?”

The two begin to snicker at the absurdity of the situation. Here they were, two First Order officers trying to decipher their General’s sex life.

“What are you two whispering about?” Colonel Leaux demands as he looms over.

Captain Annix and Major Plumme raise their heads, trying to put on straight faces.

Annix clears his throat. “Nothing, sir—”

“General Hux has a boyfriend!” Plumme exclaims, unable to help himself.

Leaux blanches slightly. “ _I beg your pardon?_ ”

“Or so some are saying,” Annix adds hastily.

*

“Did you know the General has a boyfriend?”

Phasma and Lieutenant Wilhelm look up simultaneously from their lunch.

“ _Really?_ ”

They were in one of the break rooms, a half dozen female officers surrounding them, fixing their pompadour hairstyles and touching up their stylish makeup and drinking coffee.

And gossiping.

“He was spotted with a dark haired man near one of the mess halls.”

“Hands _all over_ each like hormonal teenagers.”

“How scandalous.”

“Isn’t it just _delicious?_ ”

The female officers titter like songbirds before departing from the room.

Once the room is empty, the Captain and Lieutenant share a silent glance.

They burst out laughing, falling against each other.

*

Hux is sick to death of all the looks he’s been receiving. All fucking day. He isn’t sure what had happened but every time he’d ask, he’d receive vague replies and odd innuendos.

He’s in his office; he shut himself away when the staring and whispers became too much to bear and nobody would tell him what the hell was going on.

Not even Lieutenant Wilhelm, the traitor. She’s supposed to be on _his_ side.

She’s sitting on his desk, filing her nails. She always finished her work before him but never signed off until he did, or at the very least gave her permission to leave early. But he likes the company. Even if she keeps giggling to herself.

His door beeps, alerting him that someone wants to enter.

Hux groans. He doesn’t want to be bothered. Not now. (Not ever again). “Florentine, check who it is.”

His Lieutenant nods, scooping up her datapad and tapping away. “It’s Bellamy,” she replies after a moment.

“Oh. Let her in.”

Florentine does so.

Major General Elisabeth Bellamy. The only female superior officer aboard the _Finalizer_. Her ageing features are weathered and firm, with a light softness touching her eyes and her voice curled slightly by a foreign accent.

 She walks up to the General’s desk, leaning against it and crossing her ankles. “Evening, General.”

“Good evening, Bellamy.”

“So... what’s his name?”

Hux doesn’t look up. “Who’s name, Major General?”

“Ah, I see...” Bellamy chuckles fondly. “Keeping it a secret. That’s fine. I didn’t anyone I was married for years.”

Hux does look up this time. “What _are_ you talking about?”

“I’m just confused as to where you’re hiding him,” the older woman continues. “Surely he cannot stay in your bedroom at all times.”

Florentine covers her mouth to muffle her snickers. When Hux fixes her with a glare, she quickly returns her attention to her nails.

“Well, anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck with this one.” Bellamy backs away to the door. “Hopefully he doesn’t become a distraction.”

As soon as she leaves, Colonel Leaux bursts into the room, red in the face, eyes blazing. “Where are you hiding him?”

“Excuse me?” Hux sneers, certainly not in the mood for the older man’s snooping, not after the nonsense with Bellamy. “I haven’t the slightest clue who you’re referring to, Colonel.”

“You know _exactly_ who I’m talking about! That little harlot you’re hiding around somewhere.” Leaux looks around, as if he’s expecting to find someone under the desk.

“Wha—” Hux glances at his Lieutenant, who’s pretending to type something, clutching her stomach with her free hand.

“Mark my words, General,” Leaux growls, waging a menacing finger at Hux. “If I find this hidden bedmate of yours, I’m kicking him off the ship and you along with him!”

Hux blinks as the Colonel storms off, muttering under his breath.

Lieutenant Wilhelm collapses against the desk, kicking her short legs.

“ _Florentine!_ ”

She straightens up, offering a salute. “Yes, sir, Mr General, sir?”

Hux grits his teeth. Why hasn’t he fired her yet? “ _What_ are they talking about?”

“Well,” she begins excitedly, eyes sparkling with mischief, “someone caught you and Lord Ren necking in the hallway and now everyone is wondering where you’re hiding this, oh, so sweet boyfriend of yours.”

Someone caught him and Kylo? Oh, hell, how _mortifying_. He was never going to be able to live this down. Then again, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But, wait...

“Why are they asking who I was with then?”

His Lieutenant arches a perfectly sculpted brow. “Nobody has seen Lord Ren without his armour,” she says simply. “They don’t know it was him.”

Hux couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.

Florentine slides of the desk, brushing down her coat and tucking an auburn curl behind her ear. “Well, I’m clocking out. It’s my day off tomorrow so I’ll give you the estimated budget for the new firearms range on Monday.” She smirks. “And you should be more careful about letting Lord Ren grope you in public.”

At least she is bold enough to be blunt. Most are too afraid to do that.

*

Hux arrives at Kylo’s quarters earlier than he had intended to but there was no way he was hanging around the bridge a moment longer.

“You will not believe the nonsense I’ve dealt with today,” he sighs as the door slides shut behind him.

Instead of the cat-in-a-human-form Kylo Ren from earlier, the knight’s expression is foul, eyes dark.

So much for Kylo’s playful mood. Pity; he was looking forward to fooling around with the him after the day he had.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hux asks as he shrugs off his coat and drapes it over the small table across the room. He feels maybe he shouldn’t stand too close to Kylo just yet, lest he be met with a lightsaber through his sternum.

“You’re nothing more than the treacherous leech I assumed you were.”

Hux raises a brow. A mild insult, coming from Kylo. “Care to elaborate, lover?”

“Do not,” Kylo growls, “ever all me that again.”

“If you insist.”

“And to think... I actually trusted you—” Kylo shakes his head in disgust. “I should have _known_ there was another. You could never... not with me.”

The General takes an uneasy step forward. “You’re being stranger than usual. Care to tell me why?”

“If you’re fucking someone else, please be honest about it, so then I can murder him in front of you.”

Hux blinks. And then his eyes widen in realisation. “Oh, Gods, not you, too...”

He begins to laugh and very quickly finds he cannot stop. What a perfect ending to this disastrous day. _Of course_ – it couldn’t end _any other_ way. So Kylo thinks there’s a secret lover, too.

He crumples to the ground, arms folded around his stomach as he shakes with laughter. He can’t remember a time he’s laughed so hard. Maybe never. He’s probably going mad. Forget an honourable death; death by laughter is how he’s going at this rate.

Kylo snarls, completely livid, thrusting an arm out. Hux feels a tightness closing around his throat, vaguely bringing him out of his hysterics. Something stirs low in his stomach (now is not the time for a boner; Kylo is actually trying to choke him this time).

“Tell me who this mystery lover is!” Kylo says, voice coarse and low. “Or I shall make you tell me.”

“Oh... you ridiculous fool,” Hux snickers, wiping his eyes with his palm. “ _You’re_ the... the mystery lover!”

The pressure vanishes from Hux’s throat and Kylo drops his arm. “What?”

Hux tries to explain but his words lose their coherency through his laughter.

Kylo crosses the room and kneels down next to him. “I can’t understand you.”

Hux shakes his head and clears his throat several times. “We were caught in the hallway this morning...”

“Oh... You and I?”

“You and I.”

“So—”

“Yes.”

“Ah.”

“Rather ironic, don’t you think?”

Kylo nods, squeezing his eyes shut and trying not to let his grin show. He fails. “So, I take it today wasn’t a good day then?”

Hux groans, falling onto his back and covering his face with his hands. “You should have seen the looks I was getting. And Florentine, she _knew_ – that little wretch – and she didn’t tell me until _after_ Leaux verbally assaulted me.”

“Everyone was talking about it. I was... so convinced they were talking about...” Kylo shrugs. “I’m sorry—for what I said... and the choking part, too.”

Snorting, Hux lifted a hand to rub Kylo’s thigh. “Don’t be. I suppose I would have been furious if I suspected the same thing.”

“So... there’s no one else?” Kylo asks as he slowly crawls on top of the older man. “Truly?”

Hux rolls his eyes. “Truly, darling. You’re more than enough to drive me insane.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come pester me on Tumblr!


End file.
